Danger of Being Right, Part 2

As I mentioned to Jim in a response: Love is a commitment to the best interest of another.

Being right is about you; love is about the other person.

But isn’t it important to be right?

Consider this. When we were in the wrong, God’s response was self-sacrifice. Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). That was his response to our enmity. He didn’t insist we first acknowledge that we were in the wrong. He didn’t insist that change our ways or come over to his way of thinking. He did something for us. This we call Grace.

Is this your response when you disagree? Could you do something good for someone who is in any way you’re enemy? Does being right become the line that divides us? What about grace?

Think of the power of demonstrating that you care more about the person than the issue. This is where change comes from. It must always be acceptance first, change later. If you reject them, why should they listen to you?

This is one of those areas where I’m fascinated about truth. Years ago, I read a lot of psychology books and one thing became clear to me: Acceptance first, change second. If you really want to change for the better, you must accept who you are first. If you want others to change, it can only happen in a space created by unconditional acceptance.

This true was supremely important to me because it is the message of Grace. God accepts you for who you are, and that provides a solid ground upon which true change can take place. Without acceptance first, no real change can take place. Shame does not work. Change as a prerequisite for acceptance does not work.

I would even hold this up as a near proof of the truth of the gospel. I know of no other religion that makes the same offer. In other words, no other religion that is psychologically true.

Being right is not what God values most.