Wednesday, August 2, 2017

How do you become a friend of God?

In my last post, I claimed that being a “friend” of God is a higher metaphor than child or servant. The question then becomes, “How do we get there?”

As I said then, friends are in agreement. They see things the same way. Is your worldview and perspective in line with His? If not, how do you get there? The answer, I believe, is what Paul calls, “character.”

First, you must accept that your view and understanding of the world is not identical to his. In fact, it is likely that your worldview is farther away from His than you think it is. In any case, your worldview should always be changing. It must be brought into line with His. It is a process.

But this process is not about an intellectual agreement; it is about a change of “heart.” By this I mean a change at the core of your being. Two be a friend is to be like-minded, and for that to occur it has to come from who you are. I’m arguing that as your understanding changes, it becomes a part of who you are. When you act, you act out of who you are, who He has made you. This is what I mean by “friend” of God; it is part of your character.

Your character is who you are. We tend to use the word character as a positive. “That boy has character,” by which we mean by that is that he naturally behaves well, or his behavior meets or exceeds expectations. The key is that it is natural, that is that it comes out of who he is; it is not acting, or doing what he has been told. This description is part of it, but character is who you are for better or worse.

If you are naturally (innately) on the same page with someone, that is because you are the same kind of person - you have the same character. My goal is to be on the same page as God, which means a change in my character.

Paul describes this process in his letter to the Romans, when he says that “suffering produces endurance (other translations, “perseverance”), and endurance produces character, and character produces hope..” (verses 5:3-4). James says something very similar in 1:3-4. The point here is that when you endure through a struggle, it gives the Spirit a chance to change your character. The change becomes a part of who you are: character. When you react to similar situations in the future, you will react differently. You will ultimately react according to this new character that God has produced in you.

The key is that you must endure in trust. You must trust God that he is in control and that he will use the situation to change you. You must be able to look back afterwards and see how your faithful perseverance was the right way to go. If you go through the experience kicking and screaming, complaining and especially doing everything you can to avoid the pain; you may learn nothing. If you’re lucky, He might still be able to change you, but it will take so much longer.

Worst case scenario, you will be like the Israelites wandering in the desert for 40 years because they never learned to trust God. They finally perished without ever entering the promised land.

Here is an example of a kind of suffering that you may not think about, but illustrates the point well. Paul says (also to the Romans) not to avenge yourself when someone has wronged you, but let God take care of it (12:19). This can be a hard bit of advice for most of us. We want to hold a grudge. We want the person to know that they have wronged us. We want to retaliate in some way shape or form.

To let it go is to suffer. When we read Romans, we tend to think that suffering is being out of a job, or being stressed about whatever we get stressed about. This character building can certainly apply to those situations, but it seems to me that it is harder for most of the people I know to take an offense and not respond in kind (or at all). The offender might think he won! He might do it again, since there were no consequences!

It is hard to trust what Paul says and let God take care of it. Even those who believe that God will avenge them, still struggle because the vengeance is not immediate. So the first step is believing that is the right thing to do. Then the suffering comes as you bite your tongue, or you keep your mind off all the ways you can get back at the offender.

It helps to be truly convinced that Paul is right. It’s no coincidence that Paul starts the chapter with the admonition to be transformed by the renewal of your mind (12:2). But even if you are thinking, “Ok Paul, I don’t know about this, but I’m going to take your advice.” You set your heart to resist the calls in your head to retaliate. You persevere through it like a an addict in withdrawals. But when you come out the other side, you are at least a little bit different.

You should find it wasn’t as bad as you thought. Maybe you will feel good that you were able to let go of the situation. Maybe there will even be a positive outcome you didn’t expect. But your heart softens. Your character changes, even if only a little bit. The next time an offense comes, it will be a little bit easier to endure. And then a little bit easier. And then a little bit more. The beautiful moment will eventually come when you don’t even react to the offense. Or better yet, you didn’t notice the attack. That, my friend, is character.

Your newfound character produces hope (according to Paul) in that you see that your change in character is from Him and in itself proof that He is working in you. It is now a part of who you are, who He has made you. You will know in the core of your being why it is better to not retaliate.

This is a crucial step in the process of transforming your mind. You must take practical advice, apply it to your life in faith and let the experience change you. It is only in the living it out that you are transformed. You can’t be transformed sitting in a church, or reading a blog post.

So, try some biblical advice that seems strange or illogical to you and see what happens. Allow what happens to change you.

Can you leave vengeance to God? Can you love your enemies? Can you truly turn the other cheek without worrying about being a doormat? Can you swallow that juicy piece of gossip? Can you go the extra mile? Can you truly stop worrying about the future?

What is God asking you to try right now?